A lot of these blog posts are reminiscent posts, some sordid and some treasured memories.
As such I’ll be referencing the ‘recurring characters’ in my posts as if I’m telling these stories to a mutual friend, which is all well and good if you know me personally, but could get confusing if you’re just wondering into this blog without knowing a lot about me, or the stories of my past.
As such, a new feature of Blog Regular characters will be set. A short post pretty much introducing someone who will be referenced in a lot of posts.
Fittingly, the first post of ‘Blog regulars’ will indeed be my best friend Dan.
I only vaguely remember meeting Dan. We were both five years old, and quite literally this was the conversation that started it all.
Dan:……….What’s your name?
Me: Dan………What’s yours?
Dan: No way!!!!
Dan: So it mine!!!!
Me: NO WAY!!!!
Me: When’s your birthday?
Dan: THE EIGHT OF JUNE!
Me:………..Oh, mine’s second of March.
We decided the same name was enough for us to become friends, and the rest quickly became a strange history.
The story got more bizarre as (Hanging 20 year old dirty laundry out here) my dad thought “Hey, let’s bang Dans mum” and eventually got with her for a couple of years, by a technicallity making us step-brothers.
AS A RESULT!
My Dad got his mum pregnant, meaning our friendship essentially created our sister, Molly. (You’re welcome, Mols)
Pops and Dans mom eventually went their seperate ways but myself and Dan still continued what is now a friendship that is 21 years old. Our friendship can drink in America.
I am, however. At my worst with Dan.
Like most people, different shades of me can shine through when I’m with other friends, I’m more cynical around Georgia and Amie.
More loud and obnoxious around Nathan and Toby.
More critical around Webster and Andrew.
Dan gets all of these versions of me, plus the quite rarely seen ‘out of hand’ me, as he does too.
Somehow, a normal conversation that starts off innocently can spiral out of control into something dark.
A Literal conversation about cancer.
Me: Do people ever just like…..drop dead from Cancer? How would the phone call go?
‘Hello 999 emergency’
Oh, someone just died……of uh, cancer.
Dan: We need…………………An ambulance?…..
Me: There’s a thought, WHO do you call if they’re dead already? Because it seems stupid requesting an emergency vehicle, because it’s obviously not…..Not now anyway.
Dan: Yeah, do they just go straight to a funeral home?
Me: I suppose they got to the hospital anyway…For an autopsy.
Dan: That’d be a waste of time, especially if it was obvious.
‘He fell from a building. NEXT BODY’
When we’re not……… talking about the mortality rate of cancer, or gossiping about the goings on of people lives we’re usually galavanting on ridiculous ventures, or just literally talking nonsensical garbage.
He features heavily in……well, my life really so expect him to pop up in a fair few amount of posts.
Just to sign us off, here’s a video of us….Literally rolling down a hill for no reason whatsoever.