My Beef with Finding Nemo.

Absolutely anyone who has spent even five minutes with me can quickly identify my love for Disney, hell at time of writing I have four Disney tattoos (Five if you count Kingdom Hearts) and I still have at least three on the planning board so I pretty much literally wear that passion on my sleeve.

This fiery love started with Aladdin, simmered between Disney’s experimental phase (2000-2011 I’d say) and was powerfully reignited with Tangled and it’s been a slippery slope for my manhood ever since that fateful day (my 21st birthday incidentally).

Course, it wasn’t all bad, whilst Disney was swinging and missing with the likes of Chicken Little, Meet the Robinson’s, and Bolt (Though to be fair Bolt was phenomenal) Pixar was absolutely destroying the box office with Cars, Toy Story 3, Up, and The Incredibles.

One Pixar film however has managed to capture my heart, more so than most.

finding-nemo-poster

Filled with characters that could actually compete in a fishy battle royale for who I love the most, Nemo, Dory, Bubbles, and even a flock of seagulls. A flurry of beautiful scenes, and the simple yet effective message of letting go when the time is right, Finding Nemo is one of my ‘go to’ Pixar films when hungover and in need of a little pick me up.

This Friday after a 13 year wait, quite literally half of my life since seeing the first one I will finally be seeing Finding Dory.

Hence this blog post. I have some proverbial beef with Finding Nemo that has actually been bugging me since 2003, there is a strong chance that this beef, and question could very well be answered Friday.

The first beef isn’t actually with the film itself, but rather a few select people and their belief on the villain.

BEEF NUMBER 1

Pixar recently have broken away from movies in general by straight up not adding a lead antagonist. Brave and Inside Out being more notable ones. Arguably Darla is the closest to a villain we’ll see in the film who, but In her defence she’s about seven years old and has anyone honestly really met a seven year old that they haven’t once considered just accidentally kneeing in the face?

Conversely, people have taken to referring to this guy as the films lead antagonist

3c107f28f5255e40aa098e92c63bda76

And I really cannot see how.

Okay, in a court of animated law he’d be charged with abduction of a partially disabled, adorable fish, should Nemo be an actual child then there’d be no question about it.

However his first lines of the film is him claiming that he ‘saved the little guy’.

So our dentist friend Mr. Sherman in his head rescues a fish that without his help would be dead, takes him to a loving home, introduces Nemo to an adopted family (an adopted family that makes him braver, and a better swimmer for that matter).

We can tell he cares for the welfare of his little fishies on account that he keeps one of his appointments clear just to clean a fish tank (He’s apparently quite a shitty dentist mind) and shells out what I can only imagine to be a fair bit of money for the Aqua-scum 2003.

All of this, and what happens to our dentist friend?

Fucking anarchy.

Pelicans fly in, his niece goes through absolute trauma, (I’m not complaining about this) fish are flying around the clinic, all for the patients to witness, there’s a strong chance he lost a bit of business that fateful day.

To top it off, he believes himself to be responsible for the death of the little guy he rescued.

Poor bloke.

BEEF NUMBER TWO

How did the fish-tank fish break the Aqua-Scum 2003? Riddle me that,

BEEF NUMBER THREE.

Just thought of this one incidentally,

And thank absolute heavens that this is a beef and not actually a plot point or an actual event that happened in the film, but….

When Nemo ‘died’ P. Sherman no longer had a gift to give to shitty child of the year, Darla.

How come he didn’t just give her one of the other residents of the tank? Gil, Deb, Bubbles? Did he grow too much of an attachment to these guys to give away? Was he too overcome by the chaos to think straight? Has his deep sea diving explorations given him some kind of brain bubble. Is P. Sherman a tragic ticking time bomb? These are all questions I specifically hope won’t be answered.

BEEF NUMBER FOUR.

Deb, the little blue fish who is close friends to her own reflection ‘Flo’ is going to undergo some serious mental fucking trauma.

Once the tank was too dirty to see her reflection a lot of her time was dedicated to swimming around the tank looking for Flo.

Tank gets clean! “Oh there she is” and everything is fine again.

Upon her escape however, she’ll probably come to the realisation that

1: It is indeed herself that is the ‘nuts’ one.

2: That the escape plan was a success for everyone except her sister, meaning ‘Flo’ spent an eternity alone in the tank, that or was just given to Darla and thus summoned to deaths arms.

Again, not sure if I’d even to like see this addressed or not.

BEEF NUMBER FIVE!

The actual only ‘beef’ I really actually had all those years ago that I’ve probably thought about every once in a while when the subject of Finding Nemo came up..

Nigel

                                                            Alright m8

 

Nigel is a pelican that isn’t strictly a vegetarian, but has in fact formed a friendship with the tank fish and subsequently Nemo.

Befriending Nemo, and hearing of Marlin and Dory’s adventures through the sea unwillingly connects the characters together.

During the final segments of the film Marlin and Dory finally meet old Nige, he helps them out (Somehow during the crazy mouth ride Marlin and Nigel become acquainted by a first name basis)

During that anarchy referenced earlier Nigel finds out that his efforts were for nothing.

Nemo had died.

Of course, Nemo wasn’t really dead it was a ploy.

But guess what?

NOBODY FUCKING TOLD NIGEL THIS

The last we ever see of him, in the entirety of the film was him tragically apologising to Marlin for his loss then mournfully flying off.

And that’s it. There’s no moment of “Oh by the way Nigel Nemo’s fine” he gets no closure throughout.

Why this has plagued me for so long I don’t quite know.

I’m hoping by the end of the day I’ll get some closure on this myself as it’s been over a fucking decade of me feeling sorry for an animated Pelican.

Advertisements

About danodanz

26 year old British guy who moans, goes on tangents, rants about inane things and gets himself into all sorts of bizarre situations. Despite this everyone loves him.
This entry was posted in Disney, Nonsensical Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to My Beef with Finding Nemo.

  1. immeamy says:

    I am so glad I’m not the only one who thought about poor Nigel!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s